It’s like finding that shirt you loved…

Yesterday was a like a flashback from the summer. I hung out with people I haven’t seen in a long time. It was really nice, but very odd. I went to a friend’s house to help with some yard work and then we got to chatting about all of her problems and about how she needs a break. I can understand from an onlooker’s point of view. She does. Her and her ex boyfriend do. They were an adorable couple, but they really need some time apart. They were constantly in fights and just stressing each other out too much.

On his perspective, the man is dying on the inside. He’s depressed without her and he just can’t see himself in a good light without her. The only good advice I could give him was to take time for himself and using that time for working on him. I think that’s the best thing for him to do right now, at least to help himself out. He needs to do for him before he can do for anyone else. I really hope he takes that advice. He’s a good man, just has issues that he needs to tackle before a relationship.

I hung out with Jeremy last night too. It was nice and I can definitely say I missed it. We just get on so well together and have a good time. I can honestly say that I still care about him like I did, but that I care more for Jon right now. I am glad that Jeremy and I can still be good friends and it’s not awkward. He knows about Jon and thinks it’s good for me. I really missed just hanging out with the boys, it was nice.

I miss Jon in a ridiculous way today though. I haven’t talked to him in almost 24 hours and I know he’s probably sleeping. It was nice just doing my thing yesterday and knowing that he was doing his and having an awesome time at this wrestling thing that he was going to. I hope it relaxed him and he had the best time ever. I really can see myself with him for a while. He just treats me so well and I smile every day I spend with him, every phone call I get to hear his voice and every time I see his name. I’m just happy. And I love it.

I’m so sick of the snow too. It’s starting to make me hate it, and I usually love the snow. But such is life in New England when you’re having a heavy winter. It’s almost as if Mother Nature is trying to make up for previous light winters. Get it all in now! But the run offs in the spring should make for a great spring/summer. The lake will definitely be high, that’s for sure! I cannot wait for Spring. I actually can’t wait for Valentine’s Day this year. I have cute things in store for my man!

I suppose I’m going to go and play video games until Danielle gets home and then Skyping with mum and dad.

 

End.Transmission.

Bon Appetite

There was really never any reason for me to like cooking. Never a chance to enjoy making something, hopefully, delicious for the sake of making someone else smile. I suppose that since my parents have gone away I do that every time I cook now. Even if it is just for myself, I feel accomplished and I feel like I’ve done something worth while.

After watching Julie & Julia tonight, which is an adorable movie that, albeit is long, was really inspiring that even one person can change their life for the better if they put their mind to it. I think that it would be a really interesting adventure to try something like Julie did in the movie and blog. Blog about something that I love and something that makes me happy. It would probably be just about living and the day to day with a splash of mishaps and excursions that I fancy myself on. Or maybe I’ll start trying new things…like movies, or wine, or beer. I like beer far more than I like wine. It could be a small tribute to my parents moving to Germany. (Which by the way, they found a house and it sounds amazing. I cannot wait for pictures and visits.)

Speaking of my parents. I miss them. Terribly. And it’s almost as if a cold, but hard realization has settled in my heart, but I’m not really afraid of it. I’m just scared to let it be ok. Every day I wake up and have been for the last week, telling myself that they’re on vacation and will be back soon. It’s going to be a long vacation. I suppose it’s a curse and a blessing. I’m being allowed an opportunity that no one I know has had. I get my own house and things and I get to live somewhere comforting. I’m also excited about visiting them and seeing a part of the world I lived in for four years, but don’t really remember. I was too little to really remember Germany, but I plan on doing so when I go visit.

I really need to put more work up here. I’ve been slacking on the writing department. I sure as hell don’t have a small piece of paper I and my parents paid $40,000.00 for saying that I write well…oh wait…I do. Damn. I guess I should start putting that to use then shouldn’t I? I would love to think that someone reads this and really gets something out of it. I would also love to think that at some point in my future something will come of me jabbering on and on about nothing. About life, and love, and happiness. About darkness we find in every day life and about heartache. All these things make up human existence and yet so many people read about it.

Jessica Andrews put it nicely in her song “Who I am” --“So when I make big mistake/When I fall flat on my face/I know I'll be alright/
Should my tender heart be broken/I will cry those teardrops knowin'/
I will be just fine/'Cause nothin' changes who I am. “ Every word is so true. I know who I am and I love that I do. I may have mistakes on my record and I know I’m not perfect, but would it really be all that fun to be? I don’t think so. I definitely find that the imperfections are what make things perfect. In everything.

I suppose that a picture blog will be next. Most likely Saturday night.

Until then.

End.Transmission.

Tis The Season

It’s been a while. This needed to be updated. Life? Love? Money?

All that and more.

Life, is good. I’ve got the best family anyone could ever ask for and a group of friends to die for. I’m surrounded by love on all fronts and it’s just like a blanket. Sometimes my foot will slid out and I’ll get chilly, but I always manage to pull it back in and warm up again. I feel like I can go through cycles of friends too, but I always come back to the true friends, the ones that never fade away and who remain vigilant, even when I’m stupid and wrong.

Love, is bliss. I have met a wonderful man, who on all fronts of the spectrum is great! He’s accomplished in his life, has great friends and a loving family (whom I like). He has a sense of humor that is unfathomable and limitless. We have conversations that could go on for hours and we can just sit and enjoy each others company. It really is something that I’ve never found before. No matter how many times I’ve said that; Jon is truly one in a million.

I’ve finally found a job/organization that I could be content at for the rest of my life. The Robert F. Kennedy Children’s Action Corps. has to be one of the most interesting and intriguing organizations that I’ve ever come across. It allows children who have made mistakes and committed crimes to have a second chance and to make amends or pay for what they’ve done. It’s not an easy job, I’m basically a baby sitter for 11-21 year olds, but the money is good and it’s a job. If anything I want to continue to work for this organization for a long while.

I suppose this is it for now, since I have things to do, but I will be updating more often and even throwing in a picture blog once a week.

 

As always

 

End.Transmission.

Where does it all go?

“Where was the magic when you needed it most?”

I feel so stupid lately. No job, not much of a love life, and this constant emptiness, or void somewhere inside of me. So where does it all go? When I repress, and make myself smile towards the faces of the world that I live in? Who am I smiling for? Family? Friends…probably for my own sanity…that sounds like a good thing to keep in tumultuous times.

Tumultuous, that word doesn’t come out of my mouth often…but when it does, I suppose it’s needed. Something as simple as living and being is so complicated now. I understand so little of what goes on around me on the deeper levels in which I used to. Everything is so 2 dimensional…a flat land of flat things and people. It needs the life and sense brought back into it if I’m to keep going like this and allow myself to move on.

Stupid money making the world go round…I understand that it does and yet it plays such a small part in happiness, but I doubt I would be happy with no means to talk to or see people that I love and care deeply for. Not eating or having a place to live would also hurt my standards as a human being as well, or cause them to stop quite suddenly.

Myself and I need a reconnect. I tried a weekend without friends and I was just angry at the people that I had no choice but to surround myself with in their place. I hooked up with ‘old’ friends who I’d lost touch with and yet it left me feeling lost and scared. More than enough weight burdens my shoulders, but I need to be strong enough to bare it for the people that mean the most to me, even if they never know that I do.

 

You best behave.
Lady, I don’t behave for my parents…
But your parents wouldn’t slip poisonous snakes into your bed…while you were sleeping.

Where are my snakes hiding and where did the bitch go with the basket to keep them out of my way??

Unfinished…

I woke up on the third day of The Rain. It hadn’t stopped for three days straight. We all weren’t sure if it was ever going to stop. I pulled on some jeans and sighed, staring out the window. The water level in the neighbor’s pool had started to rise, the river in the backyard was getting closer to flooding.
“Glad I bought those Wellington’s in New York…” I muttered as I found a thick sweatshirt. My room was cleaner than normal, the rain had flooded the restaurant I worked at, so I didn’t have to work. No money meant not much to do, but it also meant a lot more free time.
I grabbed my rain coat off of the hook on my wall and pulled on my boots. It was a cold rain and I wasn’t looking forward to sloshing through it to get to my car. It was always running about 2 inches deep now, since yesterday when the drains started getting clogged. We had put hay up around our doors and the basement and garage. It didn’t help much, what with the water coming down from the road and up from the river…and our house stuck in the middle.

Anatomy Class or Party Night?

Have you ever wondered..."What if I went to medical school? I'd be making thousands more than I do!"
Well...you're right. In an article I just read on MSN.com they were talking about the top 10 best paying jobs in America.
9 out of the 10 are in the medical field. Each profession being in their own field and only being trumped out by one corportate job; CEO's.
A surgeon makes an average of $219, 770 per year. That's almost 6 times what I make now, and almost 10 times as much as I would have made had I stayed in the restuarant industry.

The article goes into talking about the break down of salaries and uses data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics' Occupational Employment and Wage Estimates from May 2009. It claims that the reason for such a high salary in the medical field is because of the cost of education and malpractice insurance for those with the PhD's.

Understandably...I only came out of a 4 year college with about $30,000 in debt, which is probably about a year of medical school. There are some us who were not blessed with the mind for medicine and shouldn't we be alright with the fact that we're paying people who were properly trained to do what they do?

Top medical jobs being:

Surgeon
Anesthesiologist
Oral/Maxillofacial Surgeons
Orthodontist
Obstetrician
Gynocologist

I think we can be ok with these people getting the correct and proper educations and then getting paid to do what they do. Messing with people's teeth, making people feel no pain during painful and hard surgeries, DOING the surgeries and making sure that a woman's in's and out's are working are pretty hard jobs; in my opinion.

A good quote from the article itself: "In operating rooms across the country, surgeons earn an average of $105.66 an hour. Maybe there are worse things in life after all than taking organic chemistry and being on overnight call." (Coster 1)

We then look at the bottom end of the spectrum. The food industry. Coming from personal experience, it really takes the right kind of person to work in this business. You need to be hard to the fact that money is not something that comes by easy, with a degree or knowing people. You work hard, long hours and you bust your butt for minimum wage, or if you're a waitress or waiter, far below minimum wage. The average server gets $2.71 an hour, plus tips. With the current economy though...who really goes out to eat any more? Or often? It's something that will eventually damage the server's world and really put a dent in the way the US populace sees dining out.

The average food service worker (cook, dishwasher, dining room/caf attendants) makes about $18,120/year. Granted they're not paying for school like a doctor would be, but they do need to make a living. A gynocologist or anesthesiologist can pay up to 6 digits a year in medical malpractice premiums! A food service worker needs to only worry about covering themselves and a family.

Fun Fact: The CEO of Occidental Petroleum, Ray Irani made 52.2 million last year and Disney's CEO made 20.8 million in salary, stock and bonuses.
Fun Fact: A surgeon makes about $105.66/hour where a food service employee makes about $8.71/hour.

Its really a world where you need to balance the pros and cons of each profession. A doctor is getting paid for the money and time and effort they put into 5-7+ years in medical school and the malpractice that could result from a lax hand. Food service workers are comprised of drop outs, college kids, people putting themselves through school or those just using it as a segway for a better job.

We need to realize that everyone struggles, even those people making 6 digits a year, just remember...when you're in bed after flipping your burgers and taking out trash, there is a doctor in an ER somewhere waiting for a patient coming in from a shooting, car accident, or worse. But where would we be without food service workers? Where are the people who are hardy workers living day to day to serve you? No where...its a harmony that we need to accept.


http://http//www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37304991/ns/business-forbescom/

Aromatherapy Prompt

I woke up to the smell of eggs frying in a pan. It wafted through the small, dimly lit bedroom and surrounded my head. Lifting one eyelid slowly, I felt around and noticed the other side of the bed empty. Cooking breakfast? I was surprised he’d stayed long enough to say good morning, or even good bye.
I didn’t normally wake up after nights at the club early enough to consider breakfast; let alone anything that wasn’t just coffee or some dry toast. I rolled over on my side and listened to the low hum of the radio in the dining room and the scrape of a spatula on the pan. Tomatoes had been added. Stewed tomatoes, ripe with juice and being cooked slowly in a pot. I could see them in my head, bubbling slightly and pairing perfectly with some toast; the eggs as a companion.
This kind of aroma filling the entire house was just enough to make me shed a tear. My mum used to make breakfasts like this. English breakfasts we’d call them. It was always a Sunday thing and it was something that brought the family together. No one in my family could deny a breakfast fit for a football team.
Rolling back to face the doorway to the room, I contemplated getting up, showering and brushing my teeth. It was the least I could do for the man making me breakfast…which was still something new to me. He stayed. I tried hard to remember his name…Phil? No…it did begin with a ‘p’ though. Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t hear the soft footfalls coming up the hall from the kitchen. A head peaked in through the cracked door and the bouquet of breakfast hit me hard and fast. Another tear leaked out.
“I didn’t know if you’d be awake yet. I cooked you breakfast…I figured it was a good thank you for last night. I had a good time, and I uh…well, I hope you did too.” His accent was thick…Irish? When did I meet an Irish man last night? Either way, each word melted through my head like butter on hot bread. It was a weakness of mine. That must have been why he’d ended up coming home with me. Flirtation will get you anything if you want it bad enough.
“Where did you get eggs from?” Nice one Ginny…that was as far from thank you as one could get. “I mean…thank you…I appreciate it…but where did you get eggs?”
“The market down the street. They had a nice organic selection,” he smiled slightly and winked at me. I felt my face flush and tried to pass it off with a yawn and a stretch.
He walked out of the room and I heard bacon hit the frying pan with a loud, succulent sizzle and he started singing to himself. He was attractive; I looked around the corner again to take him in before I hopped in the shower and washed away the makeup and hairspray. I needed to feel somewhat human for this man. A soft knock on the bathroom door snapped me out of my watery reverie.
“You almost done? I don’t want the food to go cold. I could join you and make it go faster if you’d like,” he chuckled to himself and shut the door, not even allowing me to deny or accept his invitation.
I turned off the hot water and wrapped a towel around my damp torso. Throwing my hair up in a towel I wiped the mirror to check my reflection. Still me, still slightly round faced, plump lips, and startling blue eyes. What was he staying for? I wasn’t anything special. I heard toast popping from the toaster and the exotic chef start whistling a drinking song.
I ventured out into the kitchen and smiled at the table laid out with foods from my past. The smell was clouding my head and tears were blurring my vision.

Aromatherapy: Describe a place by its smell, scent, odor, perfume, or stench. Don't let the olfactory sense overwhelm your description, but use this sense the way it occurs in our everyday experience - as an unconcious trigger of memory. The odor should contain a secret message for one of the characters in the scene. 500 words.