About Scattered Brain Matter

I started this blog to be able to post my writing up for the world to see. Obviously it hasn't really gone that far, but there are the few that do read this. I keep it up because it's a good outlet for my own mind and my writing. I hope that if you are reading, you enjoy.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Big Fish...Little World.

So I suppose I've actually made a decision on who I like more. It wasn't really hard...but it's just kind of obvious. The distance thing will definitely be hard; but we'll work with it I'm sure. I'm not even in a relationship though; so anything could happen!

I had the strangest dream last night and I think it comes from reading Harry Potter before bed. I'm trying to reread the entire series up to the 6th at least before July 15th (the date the 6th movie comes out) and I'm more than half way done with the 3rd...I might make it.

I'm really excited about Wednesday. I'm hanging out with Jeff all day. We're hopefully going to the beach down near Boston and going to a bookstore....I need to remind myself to leave my debit card in the car when we do that! Then we're possibly going to a movie and such; I'm hoping for a really good day! =]

I've also decided I'll try and update this at least every day. I'm sure it'll work for a while, until I go down the camp and can't really get to internet, even though we'll probably have it soon. Oh technology invading the lake. Joy.

I'm super excited about this weekend too; but more on that later! Time to work out!


Monday, June 29, 2009

And now...Mr. Peters.

I've decided to make a special guest appearance with my good friend Dan Peters.

I've also decided that we need to create a book called: "What not to Serve: A guide of the funniest things NOT to say if you're a waiter/ess at a restaurant."

It'll be full of the obnoxious things you should NEVER say to a customer who comes into the restaurant/bar/or catering business.

"who ordered all this fucking food? you? should you really be eating beef, you fucking cow."
"you ordered the cheesecake. here you go. let me guess. no one asked you to prom."
"be careful with the towering midnight fudge sundae. you probably don't want to get any on your sequined tarp that you decided to throw over yourself instead of doing the decent thing and staying the fuck home."

Stay tuned for new updates and the possible finished product. Oh; and here's a shameless plug for his online article: http://www.examiner.com/x-14347-Albany-Metal-Music-Examiner


A side note...

So I guess an update is in order.

1. I finally have a job.
2. There may be a possible upgrade into a love life soon.
3. I'm almost done with my online class!
4. I'm actually happy.

I'm not really sure where life's going to take me lately. I guess it's just going to be very mundane and routine for a while. I guess that's alright though; I think it's what I need right now. I'm really loving my time on Earth...I know that sounds like some kind of guru voodoo; I promise it's not.

Working at the 9's is good (the 99) and it's really not hard at all. The people that I work with are really great and its really something that I'm enjoying. It's not what I want to be doing; but it'll work for now and hopefully when I actually get a teaching job; I'll be able to keep this one and work weekends/nights as a part timer.

Love life...well right now its a toss up between two really great guys. One is exactly what I look for in someone I'd date and the other is close; but a little off. The first lives close but is very reluctant to make time for me; where the other is willing whenever he's got free time...but lives an hour away. It's hard...and I might possibly take Fae's advice; which I won't put freely up on here...but let's just say it'll be feeling the situation out and all that. Who knows.

The camp is open and with it drama. I'm so sick of childish adults and it's just going to end poorly and in more drama. I love my grandpa and I know he doesn't need the stress on his heart; but he's causing some of it and it could all be solved maturely and yet; no one wants to. Go figure.

Oh well; work tonight 4-8pm and then I have the next two days off and I'm heading to the beach possibly on Wednesday!!! I have the best schedule for the 4th as well! 4-8pm Friday night, no work Saturday, and work at 5pm on Sunday!!! I lucked out!


American History Fail

This was a conversation between my old room mate and I on American History...she should write children's books.

Siobhan: i am SO BORED with american history
TastyStacti: hahahaha
TastyStacti: well
TastyStacti: it IS boring
TastyStacti: I hated american history
Siobhan: it's like, hey here's some land and some people lets take it form them and kill them k? Then lets take some more land, and famr on it, but we're not gonna do work, lets get some slaves to do it, k. then lets fight about slavery, and have some wars and shit trying to get more land, and lets kill and be assholes to more people, oh yea and how about our economy goes up and downa shit ton of times k. and OMG there's a war! and the norht wins, south you suck. and then we're gonna pretty much disagree one everything till the end of time, damn shoulda let you be you own country, our B.
Siobhan: wow, whole history book right fucking there
Siobhan: i should have drew comics for my summaries and made them all sarcastic and stuff, A+ right there lol
Siobhan: why the hell didnt i do that, if i were a teacher i'd love to get that kinda thing lol

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Special Weekend

I found myself at the campuses of Boston University and Harvard University this weekend. Friday afternoon I crammed myself into a car with 5 other people and headed in the steady ebb and flow of 5pm Red Sox/Mass Pike traffic heading into Boston. We were on the edges of our seats with erratic drivers, lost tourists and pissed off commuters. But we arrived to Boston to meet up with my dad for the opening ceremonies for the Special Olympics: Summer Games.

Boston University was the housing station for numerous athletes, coaches and families. It's athletic arena was the birth place of all the festivities and ceremonies for the weekend. There were teams from all over Massachusetts. They received a full color guard, a singer and amazing band for the ceremony. The seats were full and so was the floor with only a part of the group that would be watching, competing and coaching/volunteering.

Oaths were read, the games were opened and the athletes danced and socialized with each other and opened the games with a bang. The group Recycled Percussion led us in dancing, singing and a good tune. They signed drum sticks, CDs and T-Shirts. We left the arena tired and happy and anticipating the games the following morning.

At 7am this morning my mother and I met up at a friend's house to head to the games. I have known Lori since middle school, having been in her girl scout troupe and having completed school with her daughter Sara. Lori and my mum had become friends through dance at CCS and have been close ever since. Getting to know her family brought along the joy of knowing Heather. Lori's youngest child. Heather is 14 and has Down Syndrome. She is always the life of the party, the flirt, the joke teller and the first one to make herself known. She's always happy, always speaks her mind and always does her best.

Heather and I are best friends. I'm also apparently going to Greece with her...as well as California and Disney World. She showed me off to her friends and coaches and didn't even care about her medals. It's like looking into a different world...

-t o b e c o n t i n u e d -

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Notes on Magique

Hello readers and friends --

For those of you that have or will read my piece entitled Magique there are a few notes to keep in mind before sending me notes on things (even though I am always open to comments and suggestions!)

1. This isn't a finished work, it's still a work in progress and will be messed with, changed and hopefully completed soon.
2. Anissa's perspective does jump in time. I'm working on a better way, besides flashbacks, to portray this.
3. There are no physical descriptions of the two characters, which is odd for me, since I'm a stickler for detail; it will come though! Even if it's in a short post on the characters.

Any suggestions PLEASE do not hesitate to contact me or leave them on this posts =)

Thanks so much!


Magique Part 4

I made it to the Market and sprinted my way to Trek’s den and threw the curtain back. Trek was standing with his arms folded and a worried grimace on his face. Something wasn’t right.

“It’s over for him Anissa. You can’t help him,” he spoke slowly, walking closer to me.

“What are you talking about Trek? Is there no kind of antidote left?”

“It’s not that Anissa; he’s here.”

“Who, Christopher?”

“Yeah…running around like a madman through the Market; screaming your name and something about you promising him more Magique. He got away, but he’s a threat now and the Elders are going to kill him,” he put a heavy hand on my shoulder.

“I guess it really all will end with death. I need to find Christopher first. I’ll take care of him. I was careless and now I need to clean up my mess. Thanks for the help Trek. I don’t know if I’ll be back; but hopefully we’ll stay in touch,” I turned and walked away.

It was the end that I hoped would not happen. Killing Christopher was the only way I could keep him from being mutilated and destroyed by the Elders. It would hurt and I would feel the guilt of my stupid mistake for the rest of my life; but I would rather do it than let him suffer. He would die at my hands and I would appease the Elders. Christopher was too smart to not want to quit the Magique and let it go. He knew that it wasn’t some other street drug and that it had hidden powers and that he could find some way to use it. People like him were eventually turned into maniacs, psychopaths, and murderers. He would be a hindrance to himself and to our world. He would try to use the Magique and would kill people unknowingly. It was going to be painful but it was necessary and I would take it all in stride; like my mother had and my grandmother before her. It seemed to be the Halor curse to lose men that would get too close. Genetic curses were the only down side to Magique. I was getting sick of the side effects; both physical and emotional; that Magique brought. It was still my life and I needed to protect that.

Magique Part 3

That same night...

I woke up to Christopher’s labored breathing; he was crouched in the corner of the room, naked and shaking. His eyes darted back and forth and he muttered to himself. I stood to see what was wrong with him and he scuttled away towards the dresser.

“Christopher? Are you alright?” I called out to him and his face was void of noticing that I was even in the room. I looked around to see if something else was out of place and hopefully what had made Christopher act so psychotic. I noticed a small pile of shattered glass and metal on the floor near the nightstand. It was covered in a silver shimmer. Like Magique; it was flickering in the dim lamp light. I looked to Christopher and saw his arm. A bruise blossomed on his left arm and he itched at it feverishly. It was the first tell-tale sign of Magique abuse.

People who could not harness Magique would react as though it were a drug, like heroin. They would think that it was a rush and then their bodies would start to crash, to shutdown. They would crave it and do almost anything for it and it usually ended in death. I had seen numerous stupid teenagers and power hungry fiends die from the wrath of the people of the Market and our world. As we were hunted down years earlier; we would hunt those down who threatened to give away our secrets and to expose us to the world for a second Hunt to begin.

Christopher didn’t know what he’d done. I rushed to my bag and looked through it. The three vials that I had stowed away there, were gone, shattered on the floor near the broken needle. I sighed and reached down and swept up the glass in a tissue. Shaking my head, I knew that this was the beginning of something bad. That’s when Christopher’s voice broke the fragile silence.

“Anissa…I want more. The high that you get from that is amazing. I need more. Please…get me more,” he crawled over to the spot in front of me and laid his head in my lap. He was pathetic and I needed to do something about this. My first thought was Trek; he’d probably know what to do. I just needed to get away from Christopher for a few hours. The couple of hours that I had left for the Magique to last me would have to be enough to try and help Christopher sleep and wait out the negative effects of the serum.

I threw my coat on and slid open my phone. I selected Trek’s personal number from my list of contacts and hit send. The phone rang for a few minutes and then went to his voicemail. I pressed one and left a short, terse message.

“Trek, its Anissa. I need to talk to you. It’s important and I need you to call back as soon as you get this. It’s a Trip and it’s going to end poorly,” I hung up the phone after leaving my message and put the phone back into my coat pocket.

I unlocked my car and rubbed my eyes when I sat in the driver’s seat. I noticed someone else leaving the same building. No one I knew; it was 4:30 in the morning; must have been someone heading to work. I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I called Trek’s phone again and he finally picked up.

“What the hell Anissa. 4:30 in the morning? What the hell is so important that you needed to wake me up?”

“Christopher got into my stock. He took three full vials full. He’s on a Trip.”

“Wait, wait. Three full vials of Magique? The stuff that I gave you? That’s really concentrated stuff; only seasoned vets like you can handle that shit. Is he dead yet?”

“No, but he will be,” I light up a Black at this, trying to calm my nerves.

“Well, then let’s see what we can do…unless you just want to turn him into the Elders and let them just dispose of him. I can arrange that a lot easier than an antidote for that much Magique,” he seemed like it would be a lot more interesting to do that.

“No Trek. I don’t care about the Elders…Christopher’s still in the apartment and he’ll be safe till I can get him something to help.”

“Alright well come on over, just enter through the 24 hour diner, not the Korean place; it’s too obvious,” he hung up the phone and I drove faster to the diner.

I’d never noticed much about the diner other than the same old lady worked every night. It was like she never slept and she never did anything but pour coffee and wipe the counter. I walked in and she noticed the panicked look on my face.

“Can I help you darling? Would you like some lemon tea?”

I noticed this cue, “No but I’d like a piece of pie, cherries please,” she nodded and led me into the storage room. In here she opened a door and I felt the dank air of the Market waft up from the dark stairwell.

“Just close the door when you’re done,” she said.

“Thank you,” I walked down the stairs quickly.

Making my way down, I could swear that there was another set of feet following me. I shook off the thought of being followed and made my way down deeper into the world that so many people were secretly apart of. It needed to stay that way, and I still wanted to save Christopher.

Magique Part 2

A month earlier...

While Christopher slept I threw on my shirt and grabbed my bag and moved to the bathroom. The cold of the porcelain on my butt chilled my entire body. I took out the tiny gold vile. The silver liquid sloshed around inside. This would be enough to last me a few days. I took out some rubber and a needle and filled it fully with the fluid. Flicking the needle, I placed it and the vile on the counter and made sure they were safe. They were not something that I could replace easily.

I tied the rubber around my arm and pulled it with my teeth. My tongue stung with the nasty taste of the band and I gagged. I started shaking and took the needle and tapped my lower arm to pull a vein up. Injecting the fluid felt cold. I could feel the flow of it going through my body. I placed my finger over the dot of blood that budded on the spot where I’d removed the needle out. The hole closed up and looked like a freckle on my skin. I sighed and leaned my head against the tile wall.

Pulsing with new life, I reached my hand out and focused on the small bottle of soap on the sink. It floated in the air and flew to my hand. I let it float around in the air for a while. I smiled to myself and knew that I could do what I’d need to for the next couple of days. Life without Magique was a sad existence.

A knock shattered my concentration and the small bottle that floated in the air in front of me. The gooey substance oozed out of the broken bottle. I wiped my hand over it and pushed it through the floor. The knock came again, along with his voice.

“Anissa, you ok? You’ve been in here for a half hour,” his voice sounded worried.

“I’m ok. Just a stomach ache,” I hurriedly packed up my ‘tools’ and tucked my bag under my arm. I opened the door and Christopher’s smiling face hardened. I followed his gaze and noticed that I hadn’t removed the rubber tourniquet from my arm. I pulled it off and shoved it in my front pocket.

“Anissa, what were you really doing?”

“Christopher…I can explain. I think, it’s not what it looks like,” I put my bag down and stood in front of him with my arms hugging around my body.

“Well?” he looked at me and then looked to my arm.

“It’s just a medicine for a virus I have. Nothing big; don’t worry about it,” I took my stuff and went back to the bedroom. I felt guilty sleeping next to the man who kept giving me so much; and I was just lying to him.

Magique Part 1

I walked downtown, and took a left onto Right St. How ironic, I thought to myself. I guess that was all just a big joke, as most things were around here. I pulled up my collar and walked up to the Korean Barbeque and knocked on the back door. A slot slid back, revealing a pair of red eyes.

“Code word?” the voice was deep and raspy, like a chain smoker.

“Bezoar,” I flipped open my Zippo and tapped my pack of Blacks on my wrist. I pulled out one of the cloves out with my lips and lit it. Taking a long drag off of it I looked at my watch. 11:54pm…I only had about 3 hours. I took another long drag off of my clove and tapped my foot impatiently. I really didn’t have time for this. I blew out the exhaust from my lungs and heard the opening of the locks, the sliding of the latch and the turning of the handle.

A large man in a long robe stood in the doorway and blocked my path. He held out his hand and I extended my arm. He pulled the sleeve of my trench coat and nodded seeing the token of acceptance. A searing brand throbbed on my forearm. It burned and was bothersome. He moved out of my way.

“Ms. Halor, anything I can plan for you while you’re shopping?” he bowed his head as I stepped over the threshold. I handed him my coat and shook out my shoulders.

“I guess that you could order a massage with Thisbe and make sure that there’s a cab waiting for me in about an hour. I’ll be done soon.” I put out the clove in the ashtray near the door and walked down the dark hallway. I looked at my watch again and picked up the pace. I needed my fix and time was really running out.

I finally reached the entrance to the Market. The sound of the entire place hit me at once and I put on my sunglasses. The shinning lights from the enchanted ceiling would blind a normal human. There were booths, restaurants, and open aired venders selling their wares. I knew where I was going, and let my feet do their thing, leading me there. My first stop was to see Trek. Trek was my connection. It was the only way to find it. The Market was only known to people whose families have a background of Magique.

I found Trek’s place easily, I’d been here many times before. I turned my neck to the side and cracked it. I pushed back the curtain and entered the opium den and took off my glasses, looking around at who was partaking today. Malaysia was there, and so was Benito. They were sitting in the back corner smoking out of a hookah, and looked up only briefly looked up and then went back to their conversation. I walked up to Trek and threw down a wad of money and a small black bag.

“Trek…I need a hit. A big one, I’ve got things to do and not a lot of time. Hook me up?” I tapped my foot, my arm tingling the whole time.

“Oh, Anissa, hey…I was expecting you,” he looked at the stack of twenties and the bag of gems, “man you really do need some huh? Come on let’s go.”

He took my hand and led me into the back. It was clean, despite the outer appearance. It was almost like a tattoo parlor, sterile looking and something you wouldn’t expect to find in a hole like this. I followed Trek into the back and was in the chair waiting before he even got the tourniquet out.

“You really should watch yourself. You’re going to get really addicted and it’s just going to start eating away. You know the stories, the price, everything…yet you still come to get your kicks.” He measured out the correct amount of Magique and tapped the side of the syringe. I braced myself for the initial pain of the needle and then sighed as the viscous fluid flowed from the glass container, into my veins.

My body reacted the way that it always did and I shook a little and gripped the chair tightly. The energy flowed through my veins with the Magique. I felt the rush and opened my eyes. Everything was always so much clearer when you had a hit. This one was good, it would last me at least a good 3 weeks. I’d need it to deal with Christopher.

So many people, like Christopher, didn’t understand Magique. People whose bodies could not handle the Magique would suffer from Trips. These were the negative effects of Magique when used by those who couldn’t.

There was a deep seeded need for the world to have Magique. It was something people were born with, even though it had died out. It had to be in your family’s history to actually be usable. Magique was not something for learning any more. The Elders had established a way to harness the Magique and made it into a substance that could be manipulated. Stupid teenagers made it the new fad. If you had a Magique bloodline, then you would find a way to get it. Magique was traditionally ingested; but with the world moving as it did, people needed it faster and more convenient. That’s when injecting it started, and that’s when I started getting Magique injections. The times changed and the fads kept coming; first it was injecting, and then huffing it, followed by taking pills, smoking it, and finally tabs.

It was like the drug syndicate that only the privileged knew about, it was something that was kept from normal society, especially after the Hunt. The Hunt was to track down the witches and wizards and kill them for being different. True, some were evil and used Magique for their own selfish purposes. It was a plague on the Earth that needed to be stopped and that’s what some of us were trying to do. That’s why Magique cost so much. That’s why you needed to go underground for it. That’s why I was so intent on harnessing it for a greater purpose. I would need it to deal with killing the man that I had come to love.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Photo Blog of the Cascades

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Death is only the Beginning.

Another year...another birthday. 22. It's interesting; I feel no different...as happens most birthdays; yet people see me differently, tell me I'm growing, changing, etc. I sometimes wish I could expel myself from my own body so that I could see the changes that people claim they see. It's 1:16am. I've been dealing with a hectic life lately.
No job.
No love life.
No direction.
No clue.
I suppose they don't give you any of those when you graduate do they? No. They won't.

My great uncle died a week ago. His grave-side service was today. I cried. A lot. It was strange though. It wasn't his death, the service or anything that got to me.
It was two things:
1. Seeing my Grandfather cry and then approach me to ask me to write a similar sentimental walk down memory lane for him at his funeral & 2. Not knowing how to deal with death. Being afraid of it. Not knowing 'what's out there'. The mystery of it all scares the shit out of me.

The service was beautiful. The flowers gorgeous, the family smiling their best. I felt bad I couldn't remember what Uncle Lendon had looked like until we got little cards with his picture and a poem on the back. I saw family I hadn't seen in a while, cried tears I'd been holding back for a month and really thought long and hard about life and death.

I've never known how I would deal with death until today. A man I didn't really know, except for memories that my mother poured onto me throughout the day about how much she liked him and how wonderful he was, was the reason and the light that I've been needing to see to help me deal with my Grandpa's imminent death.

Death saves. I've never really believed in God. Never really had a reason to. He took so much from me, and my loved ones, I refused to believe in Him. I never saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and never thought that Heaven waited for all people. Little things would enlighten me that there was something after we leave this Earth. The white tulip on Uncle Tommy's funeral day; my mother talking to her father; the absence of the rain we were supposed to get today (yesterday). It makes me wonder and question my faith, or lack thereof.

Life goes on. My mum is right when she talks about the memories. We make them, share them, revel in them and most of all remember them. That's what makes them memorable; the fact that we can keep them for years and always look back and remember the laughter, fun and joy we felt making them. I hope that other members of my family will eventually see the light and come over into that belief.

You can't buy love, happiness, or memories. They come with a price yes, but they are things that keep us sane, healthy and smiling.