Grandpa's in the hospital again. I know it's coming but I just feel like there's so much more that can come from his life rather than his death. I love him so much. Missing him won't solve anything...I know that...but is it selfish to not love him to the length where I'd give my heart for his?
China too...what if he dies while I'm there? How will I live with myself? Flight can take me back to his cold body...but it can't take me back to say the goodbyes I'm afraid will go unsaid. Then again, in my heart of hearts I feel that if I write my goodbyes, it'll be too preemptive and they'll be ill omens and that will not bode well.
I leave with this, that I love him and keep him forever in my heart and mind.
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